Eye contact is a huge part of American communication. From my knowledge it is also important in many other cultures, besides American. But I also know of some cultures where eye contact is not allowed according to gender. The “right” kind of eye contact, (not creepy or scary eye contact) is necessary in our culture, to communicate well. People expect it, and when someone won’t look you in the eyes, you know there is something wrong. As one person said, “…unable to look others in the eye. He cannot connect with people the same way I can when I look someone in the eyes.” It is about connection. The author doesn’t have the same ability to connect, as someone without Asbergers. And an objective for communication is to connect with the person you are trying to communicate with.
Another person said, “I imagined someone telling an autistic person to look them in the eye…I was already aware that its difficult.” This is a main part in the book: the author doesn’t look people in the eye when they are communicating. This isn’t what the entire book is about, but it is an important anecdote that he uses in the first chapter, and uses to create the title of the book. Also on the cover it says something like, “a life with Asberger’s syndrome.” So anyone who knows anything about Asbergers might assume that the title is referring to the author, who has Asbergers. The quote, “I read Wikipedia…I figured it was someone telling the author to look them in the eye,” is also relating to prior knowledge of the book, and Asbergers.
In class when we commented on Steph writing sideways, she responded with, “Maybe I’m a sideways type of person.” In our culture it is expected (and we have all learned from a similar frame) that when you write, you try to write straight, horizontal, left to right. The fact that she didn’t do this, stood out and allowed us even to poke fun at her about it. Writing straight, left to right, is a cultural norm, just like looking someone in the eyes is when having a conversation. Often times, because someone does something out of ordinary, we like to comment on it and point it out. The author of “Look Me in the Eyes” talks about this often because people either make fun, or just don’t acknowledge his “sideways” behavior, so he never learns to act “normal.”
